Breakups. almost 90% (if not all) of us go through breakups before or sometime before our mid 20’s.
Breakups can be a rough stage to get past, I know i’m still dealing with mine and it’s been just over a year!
It’s not a nice feeling and for some it can potentially be their downfall if not careful and taken seriously.
Letting someone into your heart and giving them your trust and lowering your guard takes a huge amount of courage and courtesy.
However, if you know the right steps, what kind of things to implement in order to overcome or rather, tolerate the pain caused by your heartbreak, then it can make things a whole lot easier.
Watch this video to learn more.
I hope you watched the entire video before reading this.
Moving on from someone can be one of the hardest things to do in life.
However, as was stated in the video above, it’s all about mindset an the perception to which you view the world and your surroundings with.
Always keep in mind that, because of the breakup that it’s most likely their fault and that it’s their loss, that it’s going to take a really long time to find someone else like you.
There will always be a better way to looking at everything that we go through, but then again, it is the truth after all.
From personal experience, I can tell you that it’s all about how we percieve thing’s, but it’s not so simple as telling yourself something and to abide by it is it?
I just want to quickly list some points of interest in perceiving the many things around you in order to make that weight on your heart seem a little lighter:
- It was their loss for doing what they did, breaking up with you, cheating on you, giving you heartbreak/heartache, in the end they only made it harder on themselves in finding someone else who was as loyal and giving as you were with them.
- You can always do better, and you will do better, there is no definitive *One* out there, there is only *compatibility* through what we’ve experienced through our lives, and what path we’ve chosen to take from those experiences.
- Accepting that there is no hope in getting back with this person that has done you wrong, there are tons of people who quite possibly could be a better fit for you than this person that broke your heart (your ex).
- You are the diamond, you’re worth going the distance for and you’re the most probably the one that they lost, the one that they let go because they mucked up.
Remember that, before trying to seek another relationship, although it is good to socialize in order to move forward, it is important to improve your value, to create your own set of goals and aspirations before pursuing something else with someone else.
You must enrich yourself with knowledge and wisdom which comes from experiencing lifes follies and joys, seeking and venturing outside of your comfort zone to see whats beyond what you know right now.
Times will be hard, there will undoubtedly come situations that remind you of your ex, situations which will bring you to reminisce the memories that you made you fond of that ex.
You just have to push through it, remember and focus on what you set out for and pay attention to that, pay attention to yourself and increasing your value as an independent human being, women are attracted to men who are in control of theiir own lives and know what they want and that’s fair enough.
What kind of things can you do to better tolerate heartache.
I’m sure we all know deep within ourselves the best actions to take in order to better tolerate breakups, however for some of us it may be clouded due to the pain of the heartache, we may say that we just want to stay home and curl up in a ball, to get away from the world because it’s caused us so much pain.
While to others it may be that we already know, but we just need some support and others to tell us it as a second or third opinion.
Here is a list of what you could do that helps with coping with that pain that you might be feeling.
- Exercise – This one is a no brainer, exercise makes us good whether were feeling heartache or not. when you come across similar topics to the one we’re talking about now, no doubt you will come across exercise as a good way to make everything seem better and in turn, yourself feel more lively again.
- Keeping busy – You don’t want to be sitting around back home or in the lounge, laying in bed waiting for potentially negative thoughts or thoughts about how you could have done things differently, essentially what if scenarios where you ask yourself or imagine an alternate scenario playing out that could have kept both you and your ex together, it’s not good to think that way, keeping busy and yourself preoccupied is one of the best things you could do for yourself, along with exercise.
- Create goals & Aspirations – Creating Goals & Aspirations is like creating a new personal project that you’re passionate about, something that belongs uniquely to you and only you. Wanting to achieve something that will bring you pride and joy in, well it’s surely to bring your life some purpose and meaning, so what’re you waiting for? go on out there and find something that you want to achieve.
- Surround yourself people that mean a lot to you – Whether it be family or friends, surrounding yourself with people who mean quite a bit to you can take your mind off your ex.
Ultimately, this is going to take some time in getting over someone/moving on.
If you loved the person with all your heart (Most likely you did), it’s going to be a long and steady process, but once you’ve started you won’t want to stop!
In most cases people will tell you that the relationship is only the beginning, but not being a prelude of dark times to come no!
Just the opposite in fact, The Beginning being a new start to a better you, it may not seem like a good thing yet I know trust me!
But with time, you will see yourself doing more than you previously did before you had your heart broken, this is because you’re trying really hard to find different ways and mechanisms to better cope and handle the pain, that agonising feeling in your heart.
Enriching yourself with more knowledge, life experience, wisdom and so forth can be a mood booster and a motivator in setting you on the right track in boosting your confidence and getting you out there again.
Confidence is the key in handling our heartbreaks and breakups better.
We need to keep in mind that it’s not the end of the world, that the world is not going to end just because the love of our lives (or so we thought) left and all that we’re with now is a sore feeling within our chests.
But it is the start of a new world for us (not the planet but metaphorically speaking!).
But always keep in mind and remember to ask yourself if you’re ready, prepared and have everything in order to pursue a romance with someone else if you’re looking to find another love.
Increase your value as an individual first, before trying to pursue something further with someone else, because if you don’t increase your own value and find yourself before you enter into a relationship, you’re ultimately going to make this new person the centre of your world, and that’s going to be bad for the both of you.
They won’t like it and will lose interest and appreciation in you, and you won’t benefit from it either since what you will be doing will be having the opposite effect on your partner, pushing them away because you’re giving them all this attention and not living your own life and what you want to do.
You’re not giving them a challenge, and they know that they can have you whenever they want.
This may sound counter intuitive, and some may even say it’s completely ridiculous, but in order to have a healthy relationship, you have to give your partner or the person that you admire a bit of a challenge in acquiring your attention.
It is a new beginning for you.
There’s an old saying that’s relevant in almost every situation and circumstance, and this, is of no exception and it goes…
Life is about accepting the challenges along the way, choosing to keep moving forward, and savoring the journey.Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Remember that without taking risks, we won’t know any more joy than what we have right now.
Sure, it’s scary venturing out into the unknown and we might get hurt a little, but it’s worth it in the end.
I sincerely hope you took something away from this post.
Is there something you liked or think I should have added? Sound your thoughts in the comment section below.
And as always, stay safe everyone.